miss_d_meanour

there's a voice, there's a voice inside my head telling me nothing

Fri, 02 Oct 2009 00:34:16 GMT

♠ Going to the greyhound races is so not as much fun as going to the horse races. Much as I think greyhounds are gorgeous. But you know, the races are over so damn quickly you can't really get pumped up about it or anything. I also paid a ridiculous amount of money for a TERRIBLE buffet. Urgh. The people who had dessert were braver by far than I, I was not going anywhere near that trifle. And judging by the looks of horror on the faces of those who did, this was a wise decision. The bogan presence was also phenomenal. I was informed by one of my friends that the greyhound races were a prime husband-spotting destination. ULK. DO NOT WANT.

♠ On the other hand, I learnt more gay slang. Yay.

♠ Bought myself this FANTASTIC book called What Jane Austen Did And Charles Dickens Ate which is essentialy a reference book for all the things in Victorian literature I've ever wondered about. Useful things like how people got their titles, who outranked whom, and how to address a baronet when writing to them. So essentially a lot of things that will help me a lot in the real world. :p

♠ Am yet to watch episode 5 of Glee, because I fail at life and for no apparent reason my laptop screwed up my download. So I have at least another...*checks* 3 hours and 53 minutes to go before I can watch it.

♠ Three more days until the big 18. Until I can place a bet on the greyhounds without being IDd and having to pretend I left my ID in my bag and run back to get it and never return. Until I get actually get in to pubs and clubs. Until I can sign forms for myself rather than having to have my parents do it for me.

this just feels like a re-run, please, what else is on?

Tue, 29 Sep 2009 02:28:13 GMT

Whoa, I've been slack about updating. I'm not sure that anyone actually cares, but I've still been slack.

♣ Ajisen Ramen and Morning Glory are both shops of awesome, and I adore them. I bought a lot of very awesome stationary for an even more awesome price, and had a bowl of particularly amazing ramen (which incorporated gyoza. WIN.). MG was also playing some amazing k-pop/j-pop CD which I was dancing too in the shop. :p I can't help it. That music just makes me want to get up an get down. XD

♣ It's almost time for my 18th! Yes, finally. I think I want a PS3, because there are too many awesome games out there for me not to be able to play them somehow. Devil May Cry, Final Fantasy XIII and Final Fantasy Versus XIII in particular. I know I should probably want expensive jewelerry of something, but...I happen to want a gaming console. Yes. I'm an odd little muffin.

♣ I bought Within Temptation's 'The Black Symphony' double CD/double DVD set for an obscenely low price. Sharon has the most AMAZING voice. She sounds so beautiful live. I haven't watched the DVDs yet, but I will very soon.

♣ In conjunction with my 18th is my 18th birthday party, which is I suspect possibly the reason I'm having very screwed up dreams. It's a bit stressful. I mean, I'm really excited about it but there's food/drinks/cake to organise, and there's going to be about 40 people (I didn't realise I had 40 friends, go me :p), and a lot of the people there aren't going to know each other so I hope everyone gets on, and nobody gets off their face drunk on my watch. Not that I object specifically to peope getting drunk, I just don't want anyone getting so drunk they're being an asshat or so drunk they actually need looking after/medical attention. Which is a bit hypocritical, coming from me, but just because I've done it doesn't mean a) I want to do it again or b) I want other people to do it.

♣ Glee is my new fandom love. It is awesome. And no, it is nothing like High School Musical. I am going to cut the next person who says that.

Ok, time to go tidy up my room/do my torts assignment. Do not want.

can we ever find a way in this labyrinth without end?

Wed, 02 Sep 2009 10:19:31 GMT

WARNING: I'm going to pontificate.

I just finished reading The Tyrannicide Brief, which is a very interesting novel by Geoffrey Robertson about John Cooke, the lawyer who acted as the prosecutor in the trial of Charles I (who was eventually convicted and decapitated, leading to Britain's brief stint as a republic and the subsequent Restoration). It got me thinking a little, as a law student, about things I think we're all a little prone to overlook.

It's difficult, when stumbling into Principles of Public Law at 10sm on a Monday, to think about what it is we're actually doing in law school. Most of the time I don't give it a huge amount of thought. It's Law School. That's it. But reading this book made me think a little about just what it is we're studying. Because these days, we assume we have a right to a fair trial. To due process. To know the evidence against us. To be tried by a jury of independent and impartial peers. To have an independent judiciary. To not be further condemned by our own defence. Those rights have become an integral part of how we see the world. (I use 'we' here to mean those living in a similarly liberal democracy, obviously in other places the situation is different.)

I think many of us also assume that leaders should be able to be tried for crimes against their people. That those who give orders in war must be held accountable. That nobody is above the law. But what I think we tend to forget is that it wasn't always this way. That the laws we groan and complain about in PPL were written in the blood of various lawyers, politicians and reformists who fought against what can only be understood as tyranny.

John Cooke was hung, drawn and quartered for doing what plenty of better born men wouldn't do - bringing a case against Charles I for crimes against his people. He was butchered for nothing more than fulfilling his duty as a lawyer. His advocacy for equal rights, for legal reform, for ethical practice, were dismissed as fanaticism. He, and others who had fought hard for the republic, were convicted by a crooked court of ex-republicans eager to prove their royalist conversions, or cavaliers carefully preselected by the judges. The jury did not even leave the room to deliberate before declaring him guilty.

So yes, the Separation of Powers can be a touch annoying at times (Boilermakers' and it's total absence of paragraphs, anyone?), but at least we've got one.

I'm the first to concede that there's a strong case for moaning about torts (I wonder if Mr Cooke could explain the difference between trespass and conversion to me...), and for skiving off tutorials and bitching over coffee about Kable or Boilermakers', I think it's important that on occasion we think about what we're doing. Because the common law hasn't always existed in the form it wears today, and a lot of what we take as a given is given to us only thanks to the work of may great men and women, some remembered, others glossed over.

So let's make jokes about being law students. Let's be arrogant and elitist and take the piss out of ourselves and others. Let's rock up to lectures with take-away coffee and swap notes, let's share our confusion over bizarre legal principles and poke fun at Kirby. Let's enjoy everything about being a law student in the 2000s.

But let's not forget that there's more to Law than the law, and more to being a lawyer than standing up in court and collecting a paycheck.

/idealistic, slightly egotistical ranting

And now I'm going to go back to whinging and moaning as I usually do. Thankyou.

he liked the ladies, he liked the gentlemen as well

Thu, 09 Jul 2009 23:51:47 GMT

I. Well, I am very tired, and I intend to bail on the party I'm supposed to be going to tonight. I always know it's time to slow down when my father notices I look exhausted, and apparently he talked to mum last night avout how pale/tired I looked at the debate. So I think I'm going to have a quiet night. I'm going to need all my energy for the end of next week anyway.

II. I have, in my time, given some fairly good speeches. Last night's was not one of them. Not by a looooooooong shot.

III. I bought myself pretty businesswear, using debating as an excuse. I now have a what I believe is a very nice grey dress, with a purple, ruffled, short sleeve silk shirt to wear underneath. Personally, I think it is a winning combination. I also bought a pair of heels which are lovely, though a little high. Hopefully I will not fall on my ass when trying to walk in them, because that would be embarassing. And potentially quite painful.

IV. Also bought myself more $10 penguins. It's becoming an addiction. I bought The Art of War and The Great Gatsby, to add to the steadily growing collection. Also finally got my hands on volume 8 of Cantarella, which I read last night. So much awesome. So much angst.

V. House sitting is still going ok, other than the fact the gas stove keeps throwing hissy fits and not working properly. :S This is a problem, because most cooking requires a stove. I had to eat muesli for dinner the other night. Much as I like muesli, this is not ideal.

i'm addicted to you like sex and religion

Wed, 08 Jul 2009 04:06:46 GMT

Ok, firstly, I apologise to everyone who I've been ignoring. I will comment/read entries soon, I promise, but dial up has been eating my LJ capacity a bit. :S

Firthermore, my laptop refused to switch on this morning so...not good. Who knows when I shall be back online (hopefully soon), but as soon as I am I will stop neglecting everything and post properly.

can't you hear me screaming

Wed, 17 Jun 2009 23:27:30 GMT

I recall why I don't follow Middle Eastern politics. Much as I find the whole area fascinating, it makes me angry, and then it makes me sad. It makes me angry because there are people in the world who, no matter how hard they fight, will never have the things I have. It makes me angry because there are heroes who will die alone, and whose names we won't remember. It makes me angry because some people grow wealthy and powerful based on the misery and enslavement of others. It makes me angry because those who could act, won't act.

And it makes me sad to think that there is nothing I can do. Sad to think of all the people who live their lives hoping for change that may never come. Sad because that hope isn't always enough. Sad because the world isn't a just place, and sad because there are thousands of nameless, faceless people who I'll feel emotion for for a moment or two before I go back to my own life.

If I believed in god, I would pray for the Iranian people.

and it doesn't matter what i say or do

Tue, 16 Jun 2009 03:50:54 GMT

I HAVE THE INTERNET. OH THANKYOU MERCIFUL GODDESS.

Admittedly I spent two hours on the phone to Bigpond, the billing department of bigpond, the technical support department of bigpond, the activation department of bigpond, the annoying voice recognition walk through part of bigpond and nearly yelled at a couple of people out of sheer frustration, but I have the internet.

In other news...

i. House sitting is a bit of a culture shock. I have no mobile phone coverage, so when I also had no internet it wasn't much fun. I know it's pathetic, but I do tend to rely on the net, if only so I can stay in contact with people. It was a bit lonely without it. But despite the excruciating slowness, I am now back on msn and generally much more content. I'm becoming accustomed to caring for all the animals, though bringing in all the horses at night is not much fun in the dark. Thankfully usually I'm home in time to do it while it's still light, and my wonderful mother keeps popping over in the morning to help me muck out.

You know those people in pictures of english stables wearing gum boots, carrying a rake and pushing a wheelbarrow around a barn? I have become one of those people. :p

ii. I fail massively at Devil May Cry. I was going well until I got to the third mission, and now I just cannot slay the evol, lava-spitting spider of doom. It kicks my ass every single time, and then I have to replay the whole mission to get to that point again. I am becoming quite adept at destroying the under-water skull floaty things of menace.

iii. I love debating, and I love debating people, but sometimes I wish they'd be a little less fatal to my self worth. I also wish I had a night this week where I wasn't been dragged to town for some reason. Oh Friday, you cannot come too fast. Aaaaand I just found out I'm going to have to adjudicate as well as Steward. Yayness. Ah well, at least I'll have something to do. Though I was hoping to do some torts revision, to avoid massive fail in the exam. :S

Enough from me for now. No doubt I will go on more of a rant about something soon. Look forward to it, my dears. :p

you can have washington, i'll take new jersey

Sun, 14 Jun 2009 08:41:18 GMT

Ok, I'm sorry I'm not replying to comments or anything, but I currently have no internet at the place I'm house sitting (or mobile phone coverage...). Hopefully I should be able to get the dial up working in the nearish future. Then I shall come back and spam you all with comments. <3

oh hot damn, this is my chance

Thu, 11 Jun 2009 23:42:51 GMT

I was going to say 'judgement day' has arrived, but after seeing terminator last night I'm a little wary of that anlogy. :p <lj user="butterlygirl_3"> and I ditched revision and the pains of RL at large for the joys of shit being blown up and Christian Bale with a machine gun. It was great. We were two of the very few girls in that cinema. There was a lot of testosterone. We also really, really pissed off the couples by stealing the middle of the back row. XD MWAHAHAHA. Sucked in, bitches.

I actually nearly imploded because they gave us a 'Public Enemies' trailer. I was actually bouncing around in my seat in manner of psychotic fangirl. I can't help it. That movie is going to be wicked in so many good ways. We were going to get coffee afterwards, but because we live in a sleepy (see: boring) city, nothing was open. So I drove home cranking Flo Rida very, very loudly. Yes, Flo Rida. *hides*

So today I move out of home. Temporarily. Expect many posts regarding said moving out of home experience, and the trials and tribulations. I will miss my room. And my treadmill. And my broadband. I am however, looking forward to the cooking for myself part, the playstation, the chance to do whatever I want all day (in between exam revision), and the wood fire. Also potentailly a lot of introspective angst. I tend to ponder the Great Mysteries of the Universe when left alone.

I should be doing revision right now, but I realised I should probably start to pack up my possessions. I do love leaving things to the last minute...

Oh, and it occurs to me regularly, whenever 'Ghost Love Score' plays on my car mix, that no matter how much hideous manufactured pop music I listen too, Nightwish are, and always will be, musical bliss.

And Oh. My. God. Neil Gaiman. WHY DID I NOT DISCOVER THE AWESOMENESS OF HIS NOVELS EARLIER? ~~Also, am I the only person who thinks he's quite attractive?~~

the kind who comes to poker pockets stuffed with kings and aces

Mon, 08 Jun 2009 08:51:56 GMT

I. I realised that I have managed to schedule next semester so I have a lovely day off uni. Neat, huh? Well, it was until I realised I also managed to ensure that said day off was on the day I have Japanese, so I am going to have to go to town anyway. Fail, Bec. Fail.

II. I am actually going to seriously have to consider my options regarding where I am going to live. I adore my car, it is my baby (and I feel the need to tell people about it often), but it also gobbles up my money. It is not feasible for me to be driving for an hour and a half a day just to get to uni and back, not counting driving around town to my various commitments. It will, simply, not work.

III. Sort of in line with that, I start house sitting soon on Friday, so I'll get to see how I go living on my own. The thought of moving out of home...I don't know, it feels odd typing it. I've thought about it before, obviously, but it would be a fairly massive step. It's not that being alone scares me, I like being alone, but the thought of not coming home to my family and the dogs and the chaos that is my household...it makes me feel a bit strange.

On that note, I just went to get all my instructions and see the place...

The house is gorgeous, I love it, and everything inside is fantastic. There's a coffee machine (thank god, I'm not human until I've had my morning coffee :p), and a lovely wood fire, Foxtel on the TV and a PLAYSTATION WITH GUITAR HERO YEEEEEEEEEES! SO BORROWING FINAL FANTASY FROM THE DVD/GAME STORE! SQUEEEEEEEEEEE!

One down side. Dial Up. Yes. DIAL UP. AAAAAARGH. I may actually die. Or, more likely, make butterflygirl_3 download oodles and oodles of stuff for me. Maybe it will be good for me. Less internet time means more time for academic pursuits. Then again, it also means less msn.

The other slightly stressful thing is the menagerie I now find myself in charge of. I have two dogs, five horses and two cows to take care of. It should be ok, it's just the horses have to be brought in to their yards and fed every evening and let out in the mornings, and I suspect I'm going to be doing it in the dark often. Touchwood they'll all behave themselves. Thankfully four of the horses are ponies, so they shouldn't be too difficult to handle (I profoundly hope). They're very cute, and there is a certain novelty attached to having a property of my very own (even if it is only for five weeks), but there's also an element of OMG STRESS attached, especially as I know all too well how many things can go wrong with horses.

It's a bit of a hike to get too, but it's no further than home from town (I think). There are some dirt roads, so poor Ces is going to have to get accustomed to those :p. I suspect if I want to have friends up (which I do), I'll have to take them up in Ces as opposed to making them drive...nobody's going to be able to find it. Then again, the sort of den with the TV looks like an excellent place to camp out overnight and watch TV/play playstation. Plus there's a lot of meat in the freezer, so I might just have to put a roast on for everyone. XD

So yes. Four days until independent living commences. I figure if I can pull this one off, living alone in town would be a breeeeeeeze. :p So I'm a mixture of excited and kind of stressed out.

V. I feel someone needs to start a Literature Friending Meme. You know, for all of us who fangirl Oscar Wilde, Shakespeare, Keats etc as hard as we fangirl movies, TV and animanga. What does everyone else think?

There were so other things I wanted to say...might have to update again later when I remember them...

Sat, 30 May 2009 11:14:17 GMT

I. I swing my hips like whoa when I walk. I realised this today. I wonder if it is a bad thing.

II. Dear Slightly-Emo-Boy-Who-Works-In-The-Kitchen, do not look at me with barely concealed disdain. What you may not know is that I am probably doubly as hardcore as you, you pretentious little fucker, and I am entirely unimpressed by your little chain belt accessories and dyed black hair. I'm sorry, my apparent shyness and plain brown hair has clearly led to me being popped in the 'preppy' box. But unlike you, you egotistical little prick, I don't have my head shoved up my arse and I happen to think that I may listen to both Industrial Metal and Jessica Mauboy if I want too. I was always under the impression being 'alternative' was mostly about being true to yourself, not trying to break out of the box by constructing another one. Furthermore, if I get stuck between you and the table behind the bar again, I will break your ribs. I don't care whether it is intentional or not.

III. I'm not actually angry with the boy above, but a little rant felt good. :p

IV. New car is named 'Cesare' or 'Ces'. In honour of Cesare Borgia from Cantarella, of course.

V. Am odd blend of content and antsy. Not sure what is going on. Had the craziest dream last night, combining an evil koala, the ocean, a massive shark and a sand dune I had to climb. I suspsect the return of the ocean in my dreams signifies the return of a need to deal with emotion. I woke up like 'WTF?!'. I swear, I do not have normal people dreams. Probably because I'm not a normal person. XD

oh yes, i'm fine, everything's just wonderful

Fri, 29 May 2009 10:53:04 GMT

OMG MY PARENTS BOUGHT ME A CAR! I'm not trying to be obnoxious about it, I'm just very excited. XD It's RED. I have to name it. <3 I love it. I LOVE it. Though I feel really bad for having it when a lot of my friends are saving up for one...:S

On the down side, my emotions have fucked me over again and I have no idea what the hell to do, but I'm sure it'll turn out all right.

the higher, the higher we get...

Tue, 26 May 2009 14:36:45 GMT

I have had quite a bit of caffeine. Normally this would not be an issue, however, I actually need to get some sleep. I had a very busy day today, and ended up drinking a lot of coffee to stay awake. This was fine, but now I want to go to sleep. A problem. I only got about four hours sleep last night because I am...a little emotionally fraught at the moment. Confusion reigns, and I don't deal well with confusion. At all.

Sleep deprivation, I find, heightens my emotions. Is anyone else seeing a vicious cycle of doom here?

I tried to soother myself last night by reading The Time Traveller's Wife, which worked to an extent, but didn't actually really help me sleep. I don't know what I'm going to try tonight. Possibly my Torts textbook. :p

I nabbed a book of Victorian poetry from the library in one of my breaks. I love the poem 'Amy's Cruelty' by Elizabeth Barret Browning. It's gorgeous.

Ok, I am going to go and try to sleep.

(I also worry my emotional confusion is just melodrama. But at midnight while on a caffeine kick heading to a caffeine crash is probably not the best time ever to decide that.)

because...

Sat, 23 May 2009 13:48:24 GMT

Ok, I went on a bit (see: a lot) of a poetry bender, and I've decided I should share some of my favourites with you guys. Feel special. So there is much poetry by many illustrious personages beneath the cut...

Passions in a Lover by Thomas Wyatt

I FIND no peace, and all my war is done ;
I fear and hope, I burn, and freeze like
ice ;
I fly aloft, yet can I not arise ;
And nought I have, and all the world I seize on,
That locks nor loseth, holdeth me in prison,
And holds me not, yet can I scape no wise :
Nor lets me live, nor die, at my devise,
And yet of death it giveth me occasion.
Without eye I see ; without tongue I plain :
I wish to perish, yet I ask for health ;
I love another, and thus I hate myself ;
I feed me in sorrow, and laugh in all my pain.
Lo, thus displeaseth me both death and life,
And my delight is causer of this strife.

From 'The Ballad of Reading Gaol' by Oscar Wilde

Yet each man kills the thing he loves
By each let this be heard,
Some do it with a bitter look,
Some with a flattering word,
The coward does it with a kiss,
The brave man with a sword!

Some kill their love when they are young,
And some when they are old;
Some strangle with the hands of Lust,
Some with the hands of Gold:
The kindest use a knife, because
The dead so soon grow cold.

Some love too little, some too long,
Some sell, and others buy;
Some do the deed with many tears,
And some without a sigh:
For each man kills the thing he loves,
Yet each man does not die.

I had to quote all of the next one, because I don't think it really works if it isn't quoted in full...

The Hollow Men - TS Eliot

I

We are the hollow men
We are the stuffed men
Leaning together
Headpiece filled with straw. Alas!
Our dried voices, when
We whisper together
Are quiet and meaningless
As wind in dry grass
Or rats' feet over broken glass
In our dry cellar

Shape without form, shade without colour,
Paralysed force, gesture without motion;

Those who have crossed
With direct eyes, to death's other Kingdom
Remember us--if at all--not as lost
Violent souls, but only
As the hollow men
The stuffed men.

II

Eyes I dare not meet in dreams
In death's dream kingdom
These do not appear:
There, the eyes are
Sunlight on a broken column
There, is a tree swinging
And voices are
In the wind's singing
More distant and more solemn
Than a fading star.

Let me be no nearer
In death's dream kingdom
Let me also wear
Such deliberate disguises
Rat's coat, crowskin, crossed staves
In a field
Behaving as the wind behaves
No nearer--

Not that final meeting
In the twilight kingdom

III

This is the dead land
This is cactus land
Here the stone images
Are raised, here they receive
The supplication of a dead man's hand
Under the twinkle of a fading star.

Is it like this
In death's other kingdom
Waking alone
At the hour when we are
Trembling with tenderness
Lips that would kiss
Form prayers to broken stone.

IV

The eyes are not here
There are no eyes here
In this valley of dying stars
In this hollow valley
This broken jaw of our lost kingdoms

In this last of meeting places
We grope together
and avoid speech
Gathered on this beach of the tumid river

Sightless, unless
The eyes reappear
As the perpetual star
Multifoliate rose
Of death's twilight kingdom
The hope only
Of empty men.

V

Here we go round the prickly pear
Prickly pear prickly pear
Here we go round the prickly pear
At five o'clock in the morning.

Between the idea
And the reality
Between the motion
And the act
Falls the shadow
For Thine is the Kingdom

Between the conception
And the creation
Between the emotion
And the response
Falls the Shadow
Life is very long

Between the desire
And the spasm
Between the potency
and the existence
Between the essence
And the descent
Falls the Shadow
For Thine is the Kingdom

For thine is
Life is
For Thine is the

This is the way the world ends
This is the way the world ends
This is the way the world ends
Not with a bang but a whimper.

Sonnet 129 by William Shakespeare

The expense of spirit in a waste of shame
Is lust in action; and till action, lust
Is perjured, murderous, bloody, full of blame,
Savage, extreme, rude, cruel, not to trust,
Enjoy'd no sooner but despised straight,
Past reason hunted, and no sooner had
Past reason hated, as a swallow'd bait
On purpose laid to make the taker mad;
Mad in pursuit and in possession so;
Had, having, and in quest to have, extreme;
A bliss in proof, and proved, a very woe;
Before, a joy proposed; behind, a dream.
All this the world well knows; yet none knows well
To shun the heaven that leads men to this hell.

From 'A Satyre Against Mankind' by John Wilmot

If such there are, yet grant me this at least,
Man differs more from man than man from beast.

From 'To His Coy Mistress' by Andrew Marvell

But at my back I always hear
Time's winged chariot hurrying near;
And yonder all before us lie
Deserts of vast eternity.
Thy beauty shall no more be found,
Nor, in thy marble vault, shall sound
My echoing song; then worms shall try
That long preserv'd virginity,
And your quaint honour turn to dust,
And into ashes all my lust.
The grave's a fine and private place,
But none I think do there embrace.

And, finally, 'When I Have Fears That I May Cease To Be' by John Keats.

WHEN I have fears that I may cease to be
Before my pen has glean'd my teeming brain,
Before high piled books, in charact'ry,
Hold like rich garners the full-ripen'd grain;
When I behold, upon the night's starr'd face,
Huge cloudy symbols of a high romance,
And feel that I may never live to trace
Their shadows, with the magic hand of chance;
And when I feel, fair creature of an hour!
That I shall never look upon thee more,
Never have relish in the faery power
Of unreflecting love;—then on the shore
Of the wide world I stand alone, and think,
Till Love and Fame to nothingness do sink.

Thoughts? Do you like? Hate? Pray tell.

it's complicated, it always is...

Wed, 20 May 2009 10:39:34 GMT

i. I'm procrastinating. I have a torts assignment to do and a Classics tute paper to write, but I really, really feel the urge to sit here staring at LJ and wondering about the world. Rather than referring extensively to s20 of the Civil Liability Act 1936 (SA), or looking at Herodotus' treatment of barbarians. Don't get me wrong, Classics is one of my favourite subjects, but at the moment I'm not in a Herodotus sort of mood.

ii. After being siezed by the inexplicable urge to read shoujo manga, I read eight volumes of Tenshi Ja Nai on Monday. It's actually surprisingly good. I mean, there're cross-dressing bishies, illicit romances, a hot boy with a katana and some generous dollops of hilarity. It's been entertaining at least. And a lot less annoying than I find a majority of shoujo.

iii. I like Sappho's poetry. There are a lot of different translations available, and sadly a large majority of her work was lost, but what I've read I really like. Some of it is captivating, if only because it's so fragmented it makes me wonder what the poem would be like in it's full form. For example, the line I don't expect to touch the sky is oddly profound for me, and I wonder so much what followed it. I also love this poem, which I'll put under a cut because it's longer.

Like the very gods in my sight is he who Sits
where he can look in your eyes, who listens
close to you, to hear the soft voice, its sweetness
murmur in love and laughter, all for him. But it
breaks my spirit; underneath my breast all the
heart is shaken. Let me only glance where you
are, the voice dies, I can say nothing.

But my lips are stricken to silence, underneath my
skin the tenuous flame suffuses; nothing shows in
front of my eyes, my ears are muted in thunder.

And the sweat breaks running upon me, fever
shakes my body, paler I turn than grass is; I can
feel that I have been changed, I feel that death
has come near me.

And have another translation...

In my eyes he matches the gods, that man who
sits there facing you - any man whatever -
listening from closeby to the sweetness of your
voice as you talk, the

sweetness of your laughter: yes, that - I swear it -
sets the heart to shaking inside my breast, since
once I look upon you for a moment, I can't
speak any longer.

but my tongue breaks down, and then all at once a
subtle fire races inside my skin, my
eyes can't see a thing and a whirring whistle
thrums at my hearing,

cold sweat covers me and a trembling takes
ahold of me all over: I'm greener than the
grass is and appear myself to be little
short of dying.

But all must be endured, since even poor [fragment finishes]

Do we like?

iv. I need to stop buying things to try and cheer myself up. I realise I've fallen victim to the very cliche habit of trying to create happiness with material possessions. I realised I was doing it primarily because I keep buying things not because I really want them, but because I really want to buy things. Which is silly, I know.

v. Ok, time to sally forth and slay the Torts-dragon. The term 'Torts-dragon' initially coined by the wonderful butterflygirl_3

vi. Why are people so intolerant? I have a guy friend who's in something of a nasty situation because his grandparents just found out he's gay. *sighs* Why can't everyone just take people's sexuality as it comes? It's not as if it's a choice, and even if it was, it shouldn't be something we condemn people for.

let your fantasies unwind...

Fri, 08 May 2009 15:26:05 GMT

I went to see Phantom of the Opera, and it rocked my world. It was absoloutely amazing. Anthony Warlow was brilliant (I think I may have a crush on him for his voice), and the girl playing Christine (apparently the standby), had an utterly captivating voice. The set was phenomenal, the boat scene was, I think, the best piece of set design and innovation I have ever seen, and in general everything was pretty much perfect. <3

butterflygirl_3 and I as per usual suffered our usual spate of mishaps before leaving, primarily my corset strings ruining her freshly painted nails (I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I didn't mean too). :p We were both a touch overdressed, but if there was ever a time for me to wear my corset and my gorgeous red silk and black lace layered skirt, it would be to Phantom. I couldn't breathe (butterflygirl_3 was clearly a very industrious maid in a past life, and was very good at cinching my waist in to an insane degree), but that didn't detract from my enjoyment. I also had a vanilla cornetto in the interval, a pleasure I have not indulged in for a while.

So yes, much, much success. Makes up for what has been a bit of a tumultuous week. Good moments and bad moments.

I should not be awake right now. I am completely exhausted, but strangely awake. However, as it usually takes me about half an hour to get ready for bed, and I will no doubt end up reading more Saiyuki, I should toddle off. I just felt the need to tell everyone how WICKED AWESOME COOL Phantom was. <3

May post again tomorrow to fangirl more, bud adieu for now.

you give me fever when you kiss me, fever when you told me tight...

Sun, 03 May 2009 08:07:50 GMT

When I go into a library, I'm like one of those women who can't stop picking up disreputable men in bars. I tell myself I'll be a good girl, but I always end up dragging at least two or three tomes out with me. Their lovely covers or tantalising summaries make me promises, and though I know they will inevitably keep me up at night and drive me to distraction, I can't resist them.

Well, that was slightly pretentious. But entirely true. I had to go on an expedition to town today to drop something off for dad, so I popped in to the library on my way home. Error. I now have several more books to add to the already teetering pile. It also means said books will no doubt distract me from all the uni reading I should be doing.

Ah well. Such is life.

the papercuts, the cheating lovers, the coffee's never strong enough...

Fri, 01 May 2009 13:27:59 GMT

♥ Ever have one of 'those' days? I suppose it could have been a lot worse. It was just lots of little things that added up to make me miserable. These included (I apologise, f-list, I need to rant):

i. One of the guys in the kitchen at work got a bit pissy with me over an order I took. The thing that upset me was I actually didn't do anything wrong, there had just been a miscommunication regarding what was actually on the menu. Then I did sort of screw up giving some people their order (look, if you order a 12" salmon pizza, DO NOT take the 9" from me. I know, I know. It was my bad. But that just pisses me off more.) Then I called one of the guys by the wrong name, and the cook corrected me very bitchily (ironic, as he calls me Caitlin half the time when he refers to me by name). So blergh. It's nothing important, and it's all because of my own incomeptence, but it still makes me unhappy. And he didn't get really angry or anything, I'm just in a bit of a fragile state.

ii. Through someone elses incompetence, I've missed out on the opportunity to go to a prestigious debating tournament. Admittedly I don't think I would have been able to go anyway, but I would have at least like to be afforded the option. Honestly, he could have RUNG ME. Emailing me was a bad idea as he needed an urgent reply. I don't understand why it didn't occur to him that SMSing me to check my Emails or something would work well just to ensure I GOT the very important, urgent Email he was sending me.

iii. Still no running shoes. Still eating many cookies instead of exercising.

iv. Still have evil rash of doom. Suspect evil rash of doom is going to malinger. Pray this is not the case. Hope dermatologist gives me some lovely medication so I can go back to wearing clothes I like.

v. Perdido Street Station failed me. I disliked the ending intensely. It seemed very jarring and abrupt, and I HATED the fact he suddenly brought up this contentious moral question then didn't deal with it AT ALL. 800 pages, and then in the last 2 pages there's a devastating moment of realisation and then...nothing. I didn't like the plot twist, but I would have accepted its necessity if it had been dealt with appropriately. It wasn't.

vi. The Lies of Locke Lamora is a wickedly awesome book. Read it. I've nearly finished it. I pray the last fifty pages will be as good as the rest of it. I am a little smitten with Locke. Just a little. Perhaps not quite as smitten as I was with Howl, but that could merely be because Christian Bale's voice does odd things to my ability to stand and form coherent sentences.

v. I still don't know whether I am sick or merely a whinging hypochondriac. I will hopefully know by Friday next week. My mum informed me yesterday she thinks it's probably just a virus and I'll have to merely twiddle my thumbs and wait for it to go away. WHAT?! WAIT FOR IT TO GO AWAY?! EASY FOR YOU TO SAY! YOU'RE NOT THE ONE WEARING A LONG SLEEVED TOP UNDER EVERYTHING ELSE TO AVOID SHOWING ANY SKIN!

And there ends the pointless update on the state of my meaningless little life.

i could clothe a continent, but i can't sew a stitch

Mon, 27 Apr 2009 05:08:40 GMT

Oh, I've been neglecting this journal. I always mean to post, then by the time I get home all I want to do is crawl into bed and curl up.

♥ I am back at uni tomorrow. The problem with this is the trifling fact I have done none of the work I should have done over this holiday period. A mistake, in retrospect. Ah well, I will soldier on. I will probably be more perturbed than usual in Torts, but I'm sure I'll survive. I'm just not on the fast track to any HDs.

♥ The doctor is yet to tell me what is actually wrong. I have been referred to a dermatologist, but I have to wait another ten days or so. This is an issue, because while the rash I have is not gorssly disfiguring pustules or anything hideous like that (thank goodness), it is noticeable, so I have to wear clothes that cover my arms, legs and bits of my chest/collarbone area. The principal problem is, due to my extreme cold tolerance, I usually spend most of winter in t-shirts and singlet tops, so I don't have many long-sleeved tops. Fail. Epic fail. I am also hoping it is something viral, and as a result my fatigue might be a symptom of something other than my inherent laziness.

Perhaps I should go clad in head to toe leather a la Selene? Or in a X-Men outfit? What's my mutant power? Extreme fangirlism and the ability to scare men away with merely a glance. Duh. XD

♥ I discovered I've had glandular fever in the past. I just apparently didn't notice. My blood work up shows I had it, but I can't figure out when. It might explain why there were those weeks where I kept falling asleep all the time...

♥ Being sober when with drunk people is either hilarious or very, very annoying. Annoying because drunk people appear to forget they've had the same conversation with you already...three times.

♥ I am currently a fan of the word 'perturbed'. Ditto 'declivitous', 'shambolic' and 'oleaginous'.

♥ I should sally forth now into the thick of enemy forces (Torts books, History readings, Classics readings) and attempt to hack, gouge and otherwise defeat said enemy forces through a combination of a) strategic ignoring, b) skim reading, c) procrastination and d) loud music. Wish me luck, comrades. If you see me not again, 'tis because I have been slain by my workload! Say a prayer for me and, for fuck's sake, BURN my torts books.

/insanity

you are the reason that i still believe

Tue, 07 Apr 2009 21:41:12 GMT

LOL.

My dad has pulled an intervention on my ass. I woke up, walked into the kitchen and he asked what I had at uni. I explained I wouldn't be coming home to late, at which point he informed me I was not driving myself, and that he would pick me up. Apparently I look like shit to the extent my father has noticed and doesn't want me driving.

Fail, me, fail.

Have to do something about this. Can't look tired for hot boys in Brisbane. Must recharge batteries.

Also have ZOMG WAY TOO MUCH TO DO. Including buying a 'clubbing' dress. Yayness.

you make me feel out of my element, like i'm walking on broken glass

Mon, 30 Mar 2009 01:14:15 GMT

Now I'm torn.

Family friends are going away and have asked if I'd be willing to house sit for them. It'd be for five weeks, and they'd pay me $30 a day for it, which would be a tidy little profit.

Part of me really wants to do it, another part of me wonders if it'd be too much for me to handle. Then again, right now I'm not at my emotional best, so maybe I'd be more confident about it when the time actually comes.

However, it'd be a good trial run considering I'm thinking seriously about moving out of home, or at least partially out of home, within the next year or so.

Thoughts?

just another girl alone at the bar

Sun, 29 Mar 2009 23:26:00 GMT

I. I have again fallen victim to chronic procrastination. This is a mistake, yet I can't seem to force myself to be motivated. This is odd, because my generous streak of masochism usually allows me to do so. :p

II. Debating ate my life. No really. I am deadly serious. I am, for example, not working Saturday night or at all on Sunday because I have debating things. Ok, so one of them is more of a booze up than an official commitment, but I can't miss it. If I am not there, I will be talked about behind my back. If I am there, I will still be talked about, but at least I will know what people are saying about me. XD

III. I didn't end up running for LSS first year representative. I didn't think I'd be bothered but...I am. I really wanted too, but I decided I had too much to do anyway.

IV. I am probably going to have to miss my next two Japanese lessons. This thought upsets me a lot. But it has been pointed out that I probably should debate at least once before I go to Easters. So looks like I'll be going to do that instead of Japanese. Hopefully I'll get some fun moral topic. I am sick to death of debating economics. I hate speaking third in economics debates. I don't know anything. This is just fact.

V. I have my Ps. This is good, because I can drive, but bad when I humiliate myself trying to park in front of the one person I'd really like *not* to humiliate myself in front of. It is also bad because I am now officially the slave of my family. To quote my mother, when I dropped her and my sister off somewhere, 'Oh, on the way home, just stop and fill the car up with petrol then go and do the grocery shopping.' Thankyou, mother. :p

Ok, I think that ends the list of random, pointless things I decided I would share with the world today.

getting high to match the low but i can't get enough satisfaction

Mon, 23 Mar 2009 00:29:24 GMT

Hell: {n.} Taking notes on the Law of Torts with one hand while holding the phone with the other, listening to the Tiger Airways hold voiceover.

Yes. They LIE when they say a representative will take you call shortly. This does not happen. Ever. What they mean is that they will make you stay on the phone for an indefinite period listening to an annoyingly monotonous voice tell you about their special offers and services.

I. Do. Not. Care.

All I want is to speak to someone RE: the fact they have screwed up my flight times. Thankyou.

On the plus side, at 12:45 ~~last night~~ this morning I managed to catch up with part of my torts reading. As a FYI, 'reaosanble forseeability' is the answer to everything. Yes really. Or, if not that, then 'the reasonable person'. Just toss a 'reasonable' in there, there's a 90% chance you'll be right.

I have to Zone Steward tomorrow night for the first time. I'm a touch (see: a lot) nervous, as I'd really like to do a good job. I'd also like to actually debate a couple more times before Easters, as the debate I did yesterday on the GFC (oh yes, the Global Financial Crisis has an acronym, check out my cool economic lingo yeah) was a bit of a train wreck. Or more specifically, my speech was a train wreck. One of the guys said it wasn't as bad as I thought but...it wasn't good. Did the shaking thing again too. *whines* I'm cracking up :p

Not really. Just need some practice to get back into arse-kicking mode. XD

But hey, I was there to adjudicate. I didn't expect to have the GFC sprung on me. And I have very little economic knowledge. If it had been, say, on Euthanasia or stem cells, I would have been happy. I do love some moral outrage in the afternoon.

Sorry about the RL rambling. Sadly, RL is essentially the sum and total of my life right now. Anime? What is that? Oh, I have distant memories...

no one has to know if we're together

Fri, 20 Mar 2009 09:53:41 GMT

Fail, Tiger Airways, fail.

I TOLD everyone that booking with them was a BAD IDEA. I TOLD THEM.

Now they've gone and changed the times of our flights.

Great.

i don't really care if you're not single

Thu, 19 Mar 2009 11:38:53 GMT

Livejournal fail. Apparently LJ does not want me to change my layout. This is a real pity, because I have all the codes ready (not that I made them, I found them), yet LJ will not permit me to use them.

Uni is going quite well. I'm really enjoying my arts subjects, and law is also interesting. Classics is very intense, if also fascinating, and as a result I'm fairly sure I've missed a lot of what we've covered. Then again, we did 3000 years in four lectures, so that's probably to be expected. I have also spent way too much time walking around town with The Beast aka my bag, a giant black shoulder bag which pretends ot be a handbag but which is actually just...enormous. And always very full.

Due to the incompetence of other people, I was forced to sprint from the corner of two main roads to my bus stop while dodging pedestrians, carrying this bag. I was not happy. I am also still not happy about the $75 I am owed by a certain organisation, because people misinformed me and I literally had to front up for the bill. I must have cut a very comical sight. Dishevelled uni student hurtling down sidewalk, massive bag bouncing on her shoulder, hair a complete mess, eyes glazed with that 'I will catch this bus or I will cry' expression.

The song 'Guilty Pleasure' by Becca of Kuroshitsuji fame is wicked. In a terrible, morally depraved kind of way. I should hate it. Instead I love it. *sings* I don't really care if you're not single, we could use each other just a little...

I've been a bit alarmed recently because I have started shaking a little at random intervals. The first time was at the post office, my hands were shaking so badly I was having issues with the lables, then it happened again at Japanese. I'd blame caffeine, but a) I hadn't had any before the first incident and b) caffeine has never really affected me. :/ Problem. I hope it won't happen again.

And ZOMG! It is RIDICULOUS! Of all my guy friends, I can count on one had the ones who actually like girls. I have NO issue with guys being gay or bi, but seriously, it's getting CRAZY. Half of them are gay, and another third are bi, plus all the bi ones seem to currently be screwing/pursuing men. Fail. FAIL.

I would like a boy for myself nao plz. A nice, hot, intelligent and articulate one.

Japanese is wicked, I'm really enjoying it. Nice to be doing something for the hell of it.

Here endeth the random, pointless update.